


Three's a Crowd

by limerentia



Series: Headcanon [2]
Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Crack, Immature homin basically, M/M, there was an attempt at fluff (again)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 19:58:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3181247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limerentia/pseuds/limerentia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes they fight and it gets too awkward, and when they’re in Japan it’s up to Kyungjae to fix things—or at least, calm the ship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three's a Crowd

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zoetehemel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoetehemel/gifts).



> It seems my gift for you got a passport and took off to somewhere. I am still in the process of hunting it down, sorry. OTL 
> 
> In the meantime, please have this quick fic. o(_ _)o
> 
>  **Note to readers** : Kyungjae-hyung is the only manager of theirs I've ever been familiar with. He seems to be in Exo now, but just for this fic let's assume he's TVXQ's manager. (◡‿◡✿)

 

 

 

“What did you do.”

 

“Really, I open the door and that’s the first thing you say. Really. Good evening to you, too.”

 

“What did you do, Changmin.”

 

“I—you know what, forget it,” Changmin moves to close the door, but Kyungjae quickly sticks his foot out and wedges it into the narrowing gap.

 

“You want pleasantries, fine. But you should know it’s quarter past midnight, so it should be ‘good morning’ instead. Good morning.”

 

“Bah. Technicalities. It’s dark. Dark is evening. Evening is dark. My future is dark.”

 

Kyungjae doesn’t even know where everything of that came from.

 

Changmin shoots him his signature helpless eyes.

 

By helpless eyes, he means Changmin’s eyes being shiny and watery and _unfair_ , and Kyungjae’s chest suddenly feeling pity and fondness and _helplessness_.

 

Kyungjae clenches his fist in an attempt to keep himself from facepalming.

 

“Look, you obviously called because you two fought again over some stupid shit and somehow _someone—_ I’m guessing that’s _you_ this time—tripped a wire somewhere during the heated exchange and that totally blew it up to far greater proportions. Now you can’t stand being alone with him, so you called me. Don’t I even get the right to know what the fight was about?”

 

“Fuck, I’m not the one who—anyway this is all your fault!”

 

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

 

“Why is there only one bed? How the fuck am I supposed to sleep beside an infuriating 30-year old man who drools like a dam?”

 

“He’s still 28…”

 

“Well he’s an infuriating 28-year old who drools!”

 

“He’s your boyfriend?”

 

That shuts Changmin up.

 

Kyungjae sees him grit his teeth. Of course, there’s nothing he can say to that. Facts are facts.

 

Changmin hisses instead, “Fuck.”

 

Kyungjae nods in understanding.

 

…he doesn’t understand at all.

 

“Hyung. Just. Why? Why of all times is there only one bed?”

 

“Because there was a leak?”

 

“Leak, yeah. In _my_ room. Why did it have to be in my room? Why not his? Now he can kick me out to the couch since it’s his bed.”

 

Kyungjae thinks Changmin should’ve thought of that before starting a fight.

 

“You know he won’t do that, Changmin. He knows you both need proper rest. He _wants_ you both to have a good night’s rest.”

 

“Tsk. He’s always _so_ —you know, I’d voluntarily take the couch if my only my limbs were as short as yours.”

 

“Yah!”

 

“Kyungjae-hyung. Sleep between us tonight?”

 

Kyungjae would rather run straight into a wall and stay there for the night. But Changmin is giving him a round two with those troubled eyes, and this time the kid actually ups the notch, and it seems to be glazed over with tears.

 

“Fine.”

 

Changmin lights up instantly, breaking into a smile.

 

Kyungjae has to close his eyes—the change in emotions is too drastic and too endearing. 

 

Yeah, there’s a reason the staff once considered Changmin as the most dangerous maknae in the company.

 

However Kyungjae is nothing if not experienced.

 

“But! You tell me first what this is all about. I’m not going to bed in between two ticking bombs without knowing what will set them off!”

 

 

 

\---

 

 _Awkward._  

 

Kyungjae blinks at the ceiling and groans, shifting a little to his right.

 

Yunho snores into his ear.

 

Changmin is starting a quiz show.

 

“Why the fuck,” Kyungjae whispers to anyone who can hear him, “did I ever dream of managing two giants.”

 

 

\---

 

 

Kyungjae swears he’s seeing electrical sparks in the air.

 

“Why, of all better things, did you call him a _hyung-whore_?!”

 

Changmin takes the wet towel and buries his face into it, breathing like an air pump that’s gone haywire. Their tour begins in less than a month and they’re cramming the entire choreography into their bodies at an inhuman pace.

 

Changmin pulls the towel down and glares at Kyungjae, “Why are you on his side?”

 

“He’s Yunho?”

 

“So? I’m Changmin.”

 

“I’m on your side, too.”

 

“Sure, just not when it’s against him.”

 

 

\---

 

 

It’s night again.

 

Kyungjae trudges the entire way from the elevator to the dreaded door. Changmin didn’t even attempt shit at reconciliation, and simply told Kyungjae that the arrangement is still the same as yesterday before going off on his own.

 

“Remind myself to have the goddamn leak fixed tomorrow,” Kyungjae mumbles and slowly presses the doorbell.

 

There’s a rustle inside and then the door opens a little.

 

It opens _wide_.

 

“Cha—Oh. Kyungjae-ah.”

 

“Wh—Yunho! I already told you several times to chain the door first and then check who’s knocking before completely opening the door. What will you do if it’s a strange fan with freak fantasies?”

 

“Right, I forgot. Sorry, sorry,” Yunho laughs, “but we’re in Japan anyway. Changmin’s usually the one answering the door.”

 

Kyungjae nods. Trust Changmin to be wary for both of them.

 

Then trust Yunho to trust Changmin on these things.

 

“So? Where’s the doorkeeper then?”

 

“Out. Kyuhyun’s here in Japan.”

 

“Oh. Do you need—do you want me to leave?”

 

Yunho waves it off, “No, no. Come in. Honestly I’m fine with sleeping in the same bed even when things are like this, but yeah, him. He’s the one who called you. I don’t want him to end up squeezing himself into the couch just because he doesn’t want to sleep beside me.”

 

Kyungjae follows him into the living area, “You can always talk it out.”

 

“You know him. There are times when he doesn’t want to, and this happens to be one of those. He likes to stew himself in things sometimes, that’s just how he is.”

 

Yunho is going through a stack on the shelf, obviously the corner for his things judging from the mess of it that’s a stark contrast with the other side. Kyungjae watches him, eyes catching on the sheets on the coffee table. It’s the lyrics of the songs on their concert’s setlist, two copies of it filled with identical markings from the nearby uncapped pen.

 

Kyungjae chuckles with amusement, “Don’t I know it.”

 

“Yep.”

 

“And? What’re you doing?”

 

“Something…” Yunho takes out a disc and turns to him, “Want to watch a movie?”

 

 

\---

 

 

Kyungjae tugs on his blanket.

 

He had gone to bed in the middle of the movie, and Yunho had so kindly told him good night and wished him good dreams.

 

Then a few hours later, he had woken up to the hushed sounds of Changmin helping a half-asleep Yunho get into the bed, Yunho's arm sloppily hooked on Changmin's shoulder. Changmin was murmuring the directions while reprimanding him at the same time on how sleeping on the couch is bad for the back, especially with Yunho’s back problems getting worse lately, and how he should take care of himself better, and then asking if he's even taking care of himself properly when he’s at home in Korea…

 

Kyungjae had feigned sleep during the entire ordeal.

 

Changmin had probably said those things knowing that Yunho won’t remember any of it tomorrow, since he’s practically asleep and dead tired to boot.

 

Now there’s a crick forming in Kyungjae’s neck from remaining in the same odd position for too long. 

 

He can’t do much about it, since Changmin is still awake beside him and he’d strangle Kyungjae if he knew he’d heard everything. So Kyungjae waits and listens to the faint music coming from Changmin’s earphones.

 

Changmin had taken Yunho’s phone after putting him to bed and is now watching the recordings of their practice while taking notes with his own phone on his other hand.

 

Working even after work hours. Kyungjae recalls the sheets of lyrics with Yunho’s scribbles earlier.

 

There’s a reason he respects these two the most out of every artist he’s managed.

 

Kyungjae lets himself fall asleep despite the uncomfortable position, sure that this will be his last night like this for a long while.

 

 

\---

 

 

The repairman’s schedule is booked for the next three days.

 

But it’s okay.

 

 

\---

 

 

It’s not okay.

 

“Talk to him already.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Seriously, Changmin, after what happened last night—“

 

“What happened last night.”

 

“Um.”

 

“Kyungjae-hyung, did _anything_ happen to Yunho while I was out?”

 

“No—“

 

“—was it his back? His stomach? I knew it, the ramen during yesterday’s lunch was too spicy for him. I mean there’s no way it’s from the cigarettes again, right? We already agreed he’d cut back on it! Wait or was it his knees? He told me it was hurting one morning last week when the floor was too cold, and then the other day he jumped too high a couple of times during the rehear—“

 

“Look here, if you’re that worried about him, why don’t you just talk to him?”

 

“No.”

 

“Fine. But I’m not telling you anything,” Kyungjae turns back and starts walking off to the dome’s sound control booth.

 

“No!” Changmin hops off the stage and trails after him, “Kyungjae-hyung, my great and kickass hyung-nim, just tell me—“

 

Kyungjae stops.

 

Yunho’s looking at them from the other end of the aisle.

 

Changmin’s bumbling fades, and he almost bumps into Kyungjae.

 

“—my chandelier don’t,” Changmin quips and then there’s a clumsy laugh, “whoa that’s a real hilarious joke, hyung! Wow, tell me more jokes later when _you come to the house_ , alright? Ok hahaha bye I’m going back to practice now hahaha…”

 

Kyungjae turns to see Changmin sprinting to the stage and high-fiving the dancers, before looking back at Yunho who’s so obviously holding back his laughter.

 

 _Idiots_.

 

Each and every one of them, that one and this one.

 

Yunho walks back to the control booth and Kyungjae hears him laughing heartily, the way he only does when he’s being awfully fond of Changmin.

 

Ugh.

 

 

\---

 

 

“So…”

 

Kyungjae lies in the middle of the bed, his body ramrod-straight.

 

“Fuck.”

 

Changmin drapes a leg over him and Yunho burrows into his neck.

 

A scream dies in his throat.

 

_HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AGAIN?_

 

Yunho whispers Changmin’s name and just the sound of it would fit straight into Kyungjae’s porn collection under his bed.

 

_No._

 

Kyungjae most definitely does _not_ have _gay_ porn under his bed.

 

_No._

 

“Sleep… please... let me sleep.”

 

 

\---

 

 

Kyungjae is so tired he’s considering gouging his eyes out with his bare hands.

 

“Talk to him or else I’ll book you in a drama for half of your asking price. While you’re on your concert tour.”

 

“No.”

 

“Then I’m going to stick you into a collab with one of the Woollim guys,” he snaps.

 

It’s practically impossible, Kyungjae knows; Changmin can bulldoze those kids off the stage with his presence alone.

 

Changmin cracks up.

 

_He knows it._

 

“No,” Changmin deadpans, “Ha, try harder.”

 

“I’m sending Yunho to a C-class international action film. He’ll film for half a month. And bruise all over.”

 

“You can’t do that.”

 

“Try me.”

 

“Then I’ll have you transferred to those Exo twinks. By tomorrow.”

 

Kyungjae stares at him.

 

Changmin takes the challenge and stares back, a brow raised.

 

Kyungjae clenches his fists and storms off.

 

 

\---

 

 

The repairman is sick and won’t be able to work for the week.

 

 

\---

 

 

Kyungjae finds himself in the sleep section of the mall, searching for mattresses.

 

He’s going to buy one for Changmin and end this suffering once and for all.

 

It proves to be a difficult task; when it comes to these things Changmin is meticulous as fuck. He’s picky with brands, particular with the material and the thickness, and then he needs the ortho-something benefits listed down to the last letter.

 

And then it’s rarely about the cost.

 

Kyungjae closes his eyes and dives straight into the luxury section. A new mattress is out of the budget, thanks to the maknae who always needs to have the best and the most food wherever they go, and the leader who always spoils him like it’s the last feast of their lives.

 

So now he has to pay with his own money.

 

Kyungjae is shown the top-of-the-line mattress, and he honestly wonders whether it’s possible to shit gold.

 

Out of spite, he reveals to the clerk it’s for TVXQ’s Max Changmin.

 

He gets a 15% discount.

 

 

\---

 

 

“I bought a matress.”

 

“Kyungjae-ah.”

 

From the opened door Kyungjae catches a glimpse of Changmin striding across the living area, flushed and completely naked.

 

A dressed but disheveled Yunho sees this and calls him out, “Changdollie, put some clothes on, will you.”

 

“Don’t wanna.”

 

“Aish, Kyungjae’s here.”

 

“Kyungjae-hyung?” Changmin’s disappeared from his sight but he can hear him loud and clear, “well tell him we’re not yet done.”

 

Yunho sighs, “You’re just—“

 

“I get it.” Kyungjae cuts in, wanting nothing but to wash his retinas off with boiling water.

 

“Kyungjae-ah, sorry. I really appreciate what you’ve done for us the last—“

 

A long, breathy moan escapes from the direction which Kyungjae knows well to be the bedroom.

 

“Yunho, if you’re not here in ten seconds I’m finishing— _ohhh,”_ Changmin moans again, and it’s all soft and filthy and—

 

The door slams in Kyungjae’s face.

 

He blinks, the brand new mattress tipping then falling to the floor beside him.

 

“Fuck. My money.”

 

Another moan fleets into his ears, this time muffled, but certainly a moan, and Kyungjae covers his ears and shakes his head to rid off everything that’s trying to stick into his memories at this very moment.

 

“No, no, no. Don’t listen to them, Kyungjae, it’s a baby, it’s an elephant, it’s not—”

 

Kyungjae’s memories conveniently refresh him with the previous nights when he slept on their bed, the same bed which they’re doing it on right n—

 

“NOOOOOOO!”

**Author's Note:**

> ＿|￣|●
> 
> Hope this made you smile, at least? ;_;


End file.
